My Approach
I'll work with you on when and how you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or panicked through examples from your everyday life, bringing that awareness to the here-and-now. Since no two people have the same story, working with what comes up in the present moment helps create a map of how you become activated and what self-support looks like for you.
Using the methods and theory below, we can begin to address how you interrupt yourself from staying in awareness of your needs, how you can create space and boundaries for yourself to feel more safe and grounded in times of stress or perceived danger, and how to manage panic, anxiety, and anger in a way that is gentle and inclusive of yourself and your history.
The Gestalt Cycle
The Gestalt Cycle — a framework for when and how we interrupt ourselves — begins when we become aware of a sensation, realizing that we want or need something, and ends with the satisfaction of feeling fulfilled. Our interruptions might sound something like “I should”, “I can’t”, “I have to” etc. This voice — our inner critic — is probably less helpful and more negative that you might be aware of, pushing you further into situations that are activating while disrupting your ability to feel secure and grounded.
Creative Adjustments
Creative Adjustments are learned at some point in our lives to deal with difficult situations — bullies, family conflict/neglect, traumatic events — and these adaptations were the most creative way for you to survive and support yourself through a challenging time. Escapism, confrontation, caretaking, people-pleasing, and minimizing yourself are some examples of creative adjustments that you might feel stuck with, keeping you out of contact with your self, your environment, and others.
The Body
Our sympathetic nervous system is there to help us in times of need, controlling our “fight-or-flight” response. Flight can help us run away from danger, and fight can help us when danger is too close to run. When you feel concern, fear, anxiety, and panic, it’s your flight response kicking in. Similarly, when you feel irritation, anger, frustration, and even rage, your fight response is engaged. Beyond this, when we are in a position of not having any power at all to defend ourselves, we shut down and dissociate from something that feels unmanageable to fight for or run away from.
When you have suffered a traumatic event, a long-term unstable, volatile, or neglectful environment, or simply the pressures of being a human in our complex world, your sympathetic nervous system can go into overdrive, and you might experience panic, anxiety, or anger at times that are inconvenient and unhelpful, and they can start to impact your quality of life.
Awareness
By noticing, practicing, and developing an increased awareness of your sensations, feelings, emotions, and thoughts, you can become more in tune with your needs from moment to moment. When you develop greater awareness, understanding, and self-compassion, you open the door to choice, becoming more responsive and less reactive.